11 November 2021

I am at home today due to reoccurring chest pain. I wanted to try out TikTok since it is the latest thing, but I decided not to. I am still not very used to seeing myself on camera, and I think people come to the platform for entertainment, not thoughts. That said, I realised that I learned quite a lot from the platform. I went downstairs to eat and met the teacher who caned me when I was in secondary school. He has been following my development via Facebook, and I thanked him for his effort in shaping me back then.

My mind started to wander. I wanted to bring the food back home to eat, but I thought of just quickly finishing my meal and returning home at the very last minute. That was how I met him. What a coincidence. But is it a coincidence?

Because of my daughter’s condition, I sometimes wonder if God is there. My latest perspective on this is something helpful which I want to share. I am not sure how many of you are familiar with the scene in Avengers, where Dr Strange did all the calculations and found out that the best outcome is for Ironman to die. Perhaps to me, God is just like Dr Strange. He has done all his calculations, and that is the best outcome possible. And so, my child is born with cancer.

I remember praying that day, and I asked for a particular job (which I later got). Then I stopped. Because that job, while it is what I want, may not be suitable for me. Then I prayed for good health. Nothing can go wrong with good health, right? Then I stopped. Because good health can also not be good for me, look at how many people born with good bodies eventually take it for granted and abuse it. And on the other hand, some are born ill but have a wonderful life because they know how to cherish their bodies. And eventually, I stopped asking, and I just prayed.

Relating this to how I met my teacher downstairs. Perhaps it is a coincidence. Maybe it is not. Maybe God wanted me to send a message to him that his work is important. Or maybe God wanted him to send a message to me. I think we all meet people for some reason.

As I finish the second phase of my probation, I want to thank all I have met during this period. I wish you all the very best. You guys are the best we’ve got. You have to be the best.

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Categorized as Journal

By ben@sgben.com

Hi, I am Benjamin. I am a Singaporean son, born and bred. I came from a modest background, just like most Singaporeans and went to mainstream schools like most middle-class Singaporeans. What makes me different is my unconventional choices and journey in life, giving me more profound insights. Entering a secondary school infested with secret societies in the earlier days exposed me to a different side of Singapore. I graduated well despite having a volatile phase. I chose one of the youngest polytechnics despite having a score good enough for JC, even as others tell me it is not recognised, and I would not make it into university through that path. During my National Service, I also went through a difficult phase of rediscovering the purpose of serving. My university was another defining chapter, spanning over nine years, involving many adventures and endeavours. As you can see, I seldom bother myself with dogmas. I strongly believe in Steve Job's speech at Stanford University. I hope to lead others by example, inspire them to do the same and empower the decisions they have to make in their lives. Reach me at sgBen.com.

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