Equally lost

Staying in the hospital, while unfortunate, is one of the best times to reflect on my life. You are there in the quiet room with no other sound apart from the beeping of the machines. Your kid is just right there beside you, and you thought to yourself: “What a beautiful child.”

I ended a phone call with a friend, a childhood buddy. We had known each other since my NS days. He called me to talk about his plans and asked me for my input. I gave him some of my perspectives, and I thought to myself: Am I qualified? I don’t think that I am doing exceptionally well. Maybe just slightly better. But I am equally lost. I have gone through enough to know that a day is all it takes to change your life. When I was serving NS and posted to OCS, it was after a series of successes. The decision to drop out of OCS left me in a confused state. What should I do now? What should I do next? How can I move forward? It then took me more than a decade to close this loop. And now that I have gotten on my feet again, I try to remember the lessons – to be humble and always remember that your life can change in a matter of seconds. Be grateful for all that you have, while you have them. These are words that are often spoken but seldom appreciated.

There is still much to overcome. Like what LKY said: Life is a relentless process of attrition. It gets tiring at times. And it can be daunting. But what I keep in mind is this: If I can walk to this stage from where I have started, I should be able to go a bit further. And so can anyone else.

Skyler’s operation is successful. Thank you, Lord.

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Categorized as Journal

By ben@sgben.com

Hi, I am Benjamin. I am a Singaporean son, born and bred. I came from a modest background, just like most Singaporeans and went to mainstream schools like most middle-class Singaporeans. What makes me different is my unconventional choices and journey in life, giving me a different insight into life. I share my thoughts not because I think I am right but to be corrected if I am wrong. I am not too concerned about who is right but what is right. Drop me a PM or leave a message and I am happy to talk about anything!

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